kathleen-

2008-10-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

2008-10-20T01:50:00.000-07:00

Some words on cardboard, your picture in my hand.

I'm supposed to complete my op script. Pw sucks people's blood.

Thursday was swimming. Made me sneeze like crazy and I had to blow my nose all the time. Optional on Friday was one of the most relaxing one ever. Everyone was so happy, just the few of us, no stress, no pressure, nothing, just practising our strokes and trying not to capsize in the school's boat. Training on Saturday was horrible. Don't know what I was doing I couldn't paddle properly, standard dropped into a bottomless pit. Dragonboats and motorboats created waves. Damn. Irritating. I was quite pissed off. I could see that some of the rest were, too. Abrasion wasn't that bad. Towards the end my legs felt wobbly and I thought I was going to pass out. One of the longest water trainings, it felt like forever.

Did I mention that coach has two cats and we played with one! I was quite scared initially but it's soooo cute I couldn't resist the temptation to touch it! I want a cat toooooo! It's so cuteeeee. I think it's nice to have a pet dog or cat, and that is if you are ready to take care of it.

Looked for w after training! (: It was a sudden decision haha. Went to eat dinner, wonder if I'll ever get sick of YTF haha. Sleptover! Watched A Lot Like Love. Sunday morning saw us watching the chipmunks dvd and Titanic! Fell asleep in the afternoon while watching Fantastic 4 hahaha. We wanted to watch movie (again) at night but there wasn't any nice showtime so yeah didn't. I love spending time with you. (: Poor girl still sick. ):

I want to switch to livejournal. But I'm lazy. It's halfway one so I shall get help from w or someone else soon haha.

I don't feel like going to school. This week is all about pw, again. Whoever created this pw shit.
I still have books which I have yet to read. I want to take a long break. If there's one thing that is impossible, this is it. It's not like I'm working very hard now but I just want a break. A break from school, trainings, all things stressful and all things I hate. I'm trying to not hate anything because you've got to love it to do well for it, in it, whatever. I think it's either I'm aimless or I aim too high.

I think I'll be so tired and sleepy in school later, just look at the time.

'Cause with you I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up.

2008-10-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

If you didn't notice you mean everything.

Hello, I'm having pw now but I'm not really doing anything. I don't know what the rest are doing. They look like they're doing work and so do I. The only difference is I think they are really doing work but I am not. Haha I look so busy typing but actually I'm not doing pw I'm blogging instead!

I'm promoted! Borderline. I didn't really feel happy, just kind of relieved. I didn't study hard at all for promos I think, because I thought of going poly so yeah. Never felt so unprepared for any exam in my entire life. Math is my one and only subject which helped pull up my rank points. I practically failed everything because I see S everywhere overall except for Math and GP.

Watched Nights In Rodanthe with w yesterday! (: I think it's a touching movie.

All I have to say is, I'm trying and I really am.

2008-10-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes I feel like I've lost myself."

I don't know if it's because end of the year is nearing, not so many lessons anymore, promos are way over, or whatever it is, I think my attitude towards everything, esp. my studies, has changed. For the worse. I realised I've lost the drive and I'm not in the mood for school. And having said that, it just proves how apathetic I am towards school. Not in the mood. I don't know what's becoming of me, or maybe it's just a phase that will pass like all others do. I feel utterly ashamed of myself for having such a mindset.

Sometimes I wonder if it's the jc system that I detest or is it just sa alone. I skipped school on Friday, first time in my life please I think, and now I don't even know how to go about writing the parent's letter that my ct wants because I have no experience haha.

"& then I wonder what's happened to those days? Cast your insecurities aside and laugh and play and have all the fun in the world there is to have."

I think the problem lies with me. I am so freaking paranoid, insecure, whathaveyou that it irritates me a hell lot. I can't do this, I can't stop thinking about it. Thoughts just keep flowing, images keep appearing, imagination ran wild.

Sarahj I think you make so much sense. And I know exactly how you feel. I'm quite surprised by how you know who I was referring to. I miss talking to you!

"Sometimes I don't know who I am, sometimes I don't know who you are, sometimes I don't know what's happening. Most times I really just don't know, you know? But then you can't know everything can you?"

I'm so afraid of losing everything that I have.

2008-10-12T22:43:00.000-07:00

I drift to you, you're all I hear.

Going back for water training made me realise how weak I am. It took quite a while for me to get used to the body rotation and paddling again. I couldn't really feel the twisting of my torso on Saturday but optional this morning gave me the time to practise so yeah. Nelo's much more stable than the school's k1. I capsized once just now aye so gross. And the Nelo looked like it was going to sink anytime I was so scared and anyway it sank eventually when I reached the shore.

My body's itching all over I think it's because of the sun, I think I'm a little burnt, my neck hurts. I'm trying not to scratch but I can't help it very itchyyyyy. ): I'm happy though, I'm getting back my tan hahaha yesssss.

I think I'm gradually losing my sense of direction. I don't know the purpose of the things that I do, I have no idea where I'm going from here. It's like I'm on a treadmill, I keep moving but eventually I find myself on the same spot. Kind of suck.

Natalie's removing her braces on Thursday! Miss you nattttt let's meet up soon (I keep saying this) and we can talk about many many things and have fun with pltmates without a care in the world!

Today's Christina&Biao's second year anniversary I'm so happy for them! (:

I think I should learn how to control my thoughts. I should stop having such thoughts that will swallow me eventually. I should stop looking at things which will lead me to such thoughts. It makes me so upset and I can't do anything about it. I can't. It makes me doubt everything time and time again as much as I don't want to. It's damn stupid stupid stupid I know. I don't know how long I can take this. I try so freaking hard to get you out of head.

It's funny isn't it, I don't know you but the image of you is haunting me.

Anyway caught Eagle Eye and The Smilers with w. (: I think maybe I was too tired because I fell asleep at some point of time during each movie haha. I still think that the picture is sooo cute hahahaha. I like seeing you everyday (:

Love remains the same.

2008-10-11T01:00:00.000-07:00

Ignorance could still be bliss.

I think I like to make things difficult for myself sometimes.

So far I had two dreams about her even though I don't know her personally. The first wasn't very pleasant and I can't recall much. The second time, we were good friends I think. Tell me about trust. Either I'm taking too long or I can't. All the time I feel like I'm being compared with her, be it directly or indirectly and I really, really hate it you know that? It makes me so freaking self-conscious now and it makes me think that I'm not good enough, which is probably true anyway.

I never knew that this could hurt so much.

I think I'm a highly insecure freak.

2008-10-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

Can we bring yesterday back around?

After dental today (I think my dentist should be more gentle with my mouth) I went for 4C gathering with Ms Begum! (: Finally got to see the people I miss after gazillion years. I think about half came. We went pizza hut! Caught up with each other. We still miss the good old cedar days.

Haha it was so funny when almost everyone complained about how tired they are, how they hate pw, etc.

GILLIAN CHOOOOOO omg I finally talked to you after soooooo long I missed you! Bet you're having fun in vj haha your blog is rotting and I doubt you will even see this. Everyone hasn't changed at all. Jiangwt is so funny haha and skinny! She lost weight! It was nice talking to yanying! I think the world's so small. And everyone's skirt is damn short. Esp Vicky omg seriously your skirt can't get any shorter no wonder you keep getting caught HAHA.

I think it's such a nice picture, everyone looks so happy (:

Even though promos are over and there are currently no proper lessons, I feel quite worn out. I feel so tired. I feel scared and worried for everything that's happening right now and whatever that's going to happen in future and I don't know what's wrong with me I think I sound so pessimistic I hate it. Whatever happened to my optimistic self few months ago.

Shahini: So how's school?

Vicky & I, simultaneously: Sucks!

2008-10-07T23:40:00.000-07:00

And now, ain't nothing else I can need.

Hahaha I think this picture is so cute look at w's face hahahahahaha. I think her facial expressions are getting funnier nowadays HAHA so cute! (:

PW can go and die. It's the worst shit ever. It's eleven plus and I'm tired and I want to sleep. I was so bored doing pw in school I emailed some and I went around reading blogs and leaving tags. I don't feel like going to school. I've been online since ten plus and I haven't even started doing anything. I think having PW every single day in school can kill. Time barely moved an inch and I almost went into a coma.

On a lighter note, I HAVE DENTAL APPOINTMENT TMR! (: Can't wait to get the bracket fixed and change colourrrrr (:

2008-10-07T00:25:00.000-07:00

Someone's behind the drumset in my head.

After much talking and a lot a lot of thinking, I think I'm going back for training on Thursday. I should stop being so freaking indecisive it's damn annoying! I get so irritated with myself sometimes, I can't even make a stand and stick to it. I thought I've made up my mind, but everytime I do, something pulls me back. You know it gets really frustrating and at times I get so confused about what I want, I think so much- too much. But eventually it gets to nowhere which makes me want to cry. Now I'm right back to where I started.
I don't want people to think that I don't take this seriously. I don't want people to think that I enjoy quitting and going back as and when I like depending on my mood because it's not true.

I think Eleanor makes too much sense haha. Thanks for listening. (:
I hate talking to adults. In general. They almost always give me the feeling that they don't understand. They claim they do but they don't. They look like they listen but afterwards I think they just forget half the things that we say and insist that they are right. I hate it when they insist that they are right. Adults think that they are always right just because they have more experience than us. Do I sound childish? Okay I hope I don't.
I think we should be given the opportunity to make mistakes sometimes.

I realised I haven't been talking to Ma'am Z for quite some time. Anw hahaha I think it's so nice to see that people care for you. (: And it's so comforting to talk to people who understand.

RANDOM:

shahini shairah says:
eh guess how much i collected for hari raya
Kathleen. says:
1000 AND HALF IS MINE
shahini shairah says:
HAHAHAHA
shahini shairah says:
mad ah
shahini shairah says:
who can collect 1000 man
Kathleen. says:
AND CAN YOU LIKE UPDATE YOUR BLOG
shahini shairah says:
HAHAHAHA
shahini shairah says:
nothing to update le
shahini shairah says:
i wake up
shahini shairah says:
go out
shahini shairah says:
come back
shahini shairah says:
sleep
shahini shairah says:
and repeat everyday
shahini shairah says:
not fun to read
shahini shairah says:
HAHAHA
Kathleen. says:
HAHAHAHAH

2008-10-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough,
but the heart keeps telling you don't give up.

It is this song that made me hesitate so much.

It's certain that I still have the passion for canoeing but I can't say that I didn't lose any part of it. Regardless of what factors, I don't think anyone would understand so I won't even bother trying to make people understand. Sometimes it's better to leave some things unsaid: people can't use my words against me, what I didn't say would not be misinterpreted in any way.

As much as I've decided to quit, it's quite a heartache to give up on something that I was constantly giving my best for and striving towards any inch of improvement. I choose to quit not because I can't take it, of course not simply because I feel like quitting. It isn't an impetuous decision, and certainly not one that's made overnight. I hestitated many times, once I make up my mind, something pulls me back, and it keeps repeating itself again and again, too many times. I know it's something that I'll definitely miss.

I think of all the videos I've seen, how I always feel after watching them, the motivation they give, the emotions they stir. I think of how I love the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that I get after every training. I look at the team pictures. The vigour and intensity of every training, the powerful mentality of each and everyone of us that will lead sajc canoeing to victory. I remember how we felt when our k4 crossed the finishing line before every other and it was something that I'll never forget. So many things that I can fill this paragraph with, but I shan't explain.

There are things that are very hard to let go, but sometimes you just have to.

(click to enlarge)

The sexy new nelos that I'll never get to paddle in.

It may sound like I don't have a choice. But I know that I've given enough, if not more than enough, thought about it.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. They say the finest steel goes through the hottest fire. They say it's through the toughest times that you go beyond your potential.

They say never give up. They say winners are not those who never fail, but those who never quit. They say giving up is the easiest thing to do in the world.

And if there's one thing they didn't say?
Giving up on something you're passionate in is not that easy either.

Giving up is one thing. But giving up on something that you love is another.

All of us have a choice, don't we?

2008-10-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

I read christina's blog HAHAHAHA OMG CHRISTINA IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHA.

"p.s: biao, you are so gona date me on our upcoming 2yrs anniversary ._. I DUN WANA BE THE MAN ALRDDD! (HEHE, I LOVE YOU)"

So I said,

Kathleen. says:
HAHAHAHA WHAT YOU DONT WANT TO BE THE MAN HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
qristeenaaaa says:
lol
qristeenaaaa says:
cus i always
qristeenaaaa says:
date himm
qristeenaaaa says:
den he nvr
qristeenaaaa says:
:(
qristeenaaaa says:
lol
Kathleen. says:
HAHAHA WHY HE NV!
qristeenaaaa says:
so i say
qristeenaaaa says:
2yrs must be himmmm
qristeenaaaa says:
den i always hold his hands fers
qristeenaaaa says:
lol!!!
qristeenaaaa says:
den he nvr wanttt
qristeenaaaa says:
lol
Kathleen. says:
hahahaha are you serious
qristeenaaaa says:
haha
Kathleen. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Kathleen. says:
ask him hold!
qristeenaaaa says:
and i kiss him frs too!
qristeenaaaa says:
lol
qristeenaaaa says:
seee
Kathleen. says:
HE KISS YOU ALSO WHAT
qristeenaaaa says:
i am like a man
qristeenaaaa says:
- (OKAY THIS PART IS CENSORED HAHA) -
qristeenaaaa says:
lol!
Kathleen. says:
hahahahahahahahahaha
Kathleen. says:
hahahhahaahahhaa
Kathleen. says:
HAHHAHAAHAAHA
qristeenaaaa says:
but
qristeenaaaa says:
den i initiate to kiss himmm
qristeenaaaa says:
lol\
Kathleen. says:
hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA
qristeenaaaa says:
nvmm.. we love each other can alrd
qristeenaaaa says:
i think our wedding
qristeenaaaa says:
i wear suit
qristeenaaaa says:
he wears dress
qristeenaaaa says:
and i carry him
Kathleen. says:
HAHAHAHA OK!
qristeenaaaa says:
(cus i think by then(
qristeenaaaa says:
i am ultra overweight
qristeenaaaa says:
lol
Kathleen. says:
HAHAHA crazy ah you wont!
qristeenaaaa says:
den u lehh. too much ants crawling onto ur wedding dress
qristeenaaaa says:
cuss too sweet
qristeenaaaa says:
even hide ur sweets in ur boobs
qristeenaaaa says:
LOL
qristeenaaaa says:
!

HAHAHAHA. Omg I am having the funniest msn conversation with her hahahahaha shitzzzz it's so funny I didn't want to post it up because I don't want to spoil your impression of anyone hahahaha but since Christina said it's fine I shall. Funny right hahahaha it's okay you won't be the man! (:

(I realised I laughed a bit too much)

2008-10-01T12:49:00.000-07:00

I fell, so fast, can't hold myself back.

I hate checking my mail only to find out that it's something regarding pw. I don't understand why there's a need and must for us to do pw. It's a disgusting subject and it's a total waste of time even though I have nothing much to do now. Anything is better than pw. I don't mind doing math for the whole day okay I just want pw out of my life. Okay soon soon. It's going to drive me crazy in the upcoming days I bet.

I read Vicky's blog I MISS VICKY. ): I think her life is never boring. Her days are so eventful and I'm quite sure that she leads a charmed life. She gets through everything like a breeze she makes everything seem so easy. Let's meet up soon okay we shall go shopping and tanning (I bet you'll bring umbrella) and bake and cook and watch movies and paint our nails together HAHA. It's all those little crazy things we do that keeps me sane.

Anw Monday was our third! W bought me three books to read so that I won't be bored haha thank you dear (: Supposed to go island creamery but didn't because someone's sickkk and didn't want to admit right right right. If you recover by Saturday we'll go eat okay okay? (: Yay can't wait for Saturday we'll go shopping and island creamery and take photos! (: Her family's so nice they sent me home yesterday! And her mum asked if I want to follow them for hari raya HAHA.

I think some people are too nice to me for my own good. People like wwww and my mum keep giving me sweets. My mum just put jelly beans on my table and wwww is forever stuffing me with sweets HAHA. The only people who control my sweets intake are pltmates, phreaks and some of my classmates because they think I consume too much of it which is damn true. (I don't think they do this for my welfare I think they just don't want me to finish their share of sweets HAHA) I swear I'm going to get diabetes if I don't stop, or at least cut down.

Okay so am I supposed to do my pw now or what. Spoiler please. Stupid stupiddddd x1000000. Okay stop it childish.

I'm so addicted to Burnin' Up. And I love old songs.

High heels, red dress, all by yourself, gotta catch my breath.

2008-09-29T14:39:00.000-07:00

Would you lose track of time, would you feel a surge of happiness running up your spine?

Suddenly have the urge to post up cedar pictures because I miss everyone. I kind of miss having ncc activities as a platoon. I miss being a cadet. I love marching for NDP (be it for school or for nation), SYFOC, NCC Day Ceremony, etc. It gives me the sense of pride that I'd never get to feel anywhere else. It makes me feel very proud to be part of the corps. Pltmates give me a sense of belonging, security and the unity that no others could beat. I love how they are able to make me laugh even at the worst situations. MEET UP SOOOOON!

I miss my class. I miss sleeping with Jiangwt every morning before assembly. I miss my tablepartner and Vicky and my emath teacher Mrs Chia and everyone else. I think Mrs Chia and my current SA math teacher are very motherly haha.

SA feels different. It is different. I guess almost everyone prefers their secondary school too right haha. I can't say that I regret coming SA because I've met (a few) friends that make school life a little less dull.

I'm incredibly bored. There's nothing to do. Time please pass faster so that I can leave house to meet Wati haha she has surprise for meeeeee (: This time she doesn't want to give me any clues anymore because I always get them right HAHA.

My peanut butter days are over hahaha I don't like peanut butter anymore. Did I mention that one of my brackets got detached when I was eating chocolates yesterday! But it's okay my dental appointment is approaching can change colourrrr!

I can see beautiful sunsets from my house! (:

Get well soon Christina! (:

2008-09-29T02:20:00.000-07:00

It feels weird not studying. I was watching tv and suddenly I felt this pang of guilt before realising that promos are over. And I'm getting too bored for my own good. I tried going to the library to look for Jodi Picoult's but they are on loan as usual. Tried to look for other books but nothing caught my eye. Doesn't matter now because someone's lending me books tomorrow. (: I've been playing online games HAHA can't believe I have to resort to this but they are quite fun actually. I went for a (short) run I think my fitness level is totally unacceptable and after which I went to eat chocolates (again) CAN SOMEONE PLEASE CONFISCATE ALL MY JUNK FOOD. It feels like the holidays now, it feels like the post-os-let's-scream-the-four-letter-f-word period. "FREE!"

I'm quite excited for UK trip it's going to be so funnnnnn I hope timeofthemonth won't hit that period of time please please please.

Certain things have to be settled and I agree with Tiffany I hate making decisions too. Esp decisions that will affect my future it's like everything is in my hands, one wrong move and I'll live to regret and I don't want that.

Anyway Delta dearest let's have plt outing when everyone's done with their promos okay okay I miss all of you so much!

Happy 3rd month dear. (: You're sleeping now, can't wait to see you at night!

'Cause I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for you baby.

2008-09-27T00:02:00.000-07:00

Stand up everybody get up now move your body!

PROMOS ARE OVERRRRRR! I didn't study chem because (i)I had no time [yes poor time management I know] (ii)I'd already planned to give it up (iii)I want to focus on my math which is the subject I'm more confident in. I was so free during the paper because I had no idea how to do and half the time I was dreaming hoping that time will pass faster.
Math was alright I guess I hope I didn't make any careless mistake please please pleaseeee. I remember during one of the math papers back in cedar I actually made about 22 marks worth of careless mistakes omg I wanted to stab myself but it didn't cost me any grade so yeah nvm. I always feel so anxious and nervous before every math paper. I think I expect too much from myself sometimes.
Don't feel like mentioning the rest.

Had been waiting for this moment since forever. I feel so free and easy now I can do whatever that I like! (: I have countless of things in mind that I want to do! I think I'm getting fairer without trainings and I kind of dislike my skin colour now I think I'm so much fairer. ):

Life is so wonderful right now this happiness is beyond words HAHA. It kind of feels like how I felt after Os. Coming online is so fun I miss chatting with my cedar friends.

I CAN'T WAIT TO HIT THE MALLS HAHA.

HAHA look at her hairrrrr so cute right. She kept wanting to remove the clip because she said it's very ugly but I bet she secretly thinks that she looks cute HAHA. Okay kidding kidding don't kill me if not minus two! Anw she's studying now her last paper is on Monday!

2008-09-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough,
but the heart keeps telling you don't give up.

2008-09-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

Lace up your shoes, here's how we do.

Went Vicky's house to studyyyy (: Yay finally got to meet her after how long and finally got my olevel cert HAHA. We were so bored so we took a break and took so many photos.

This is supposed to be a brownie but I think it looks like a turtle. Vicky's mum thought that the blue colouring was vanilla essence HAHA. It's like greenish blue and it looks quite gross but Vicky made me eat it! With ice creammmmm. Doesn't taste that bad after all hahaha. I'm going to get fat she keeps giving me fooooood and I think I ate a lot.

She said I was sqeezing her out of the reflection.

I was upset and bored because she kept taking pictures with the same pose!

We were very stressed as you can see HAHA.

We started playing with our hair.

I disappeared because I couldn't stop laughing at Vicky's face HAHA.

We were supposed to look shocked.

Too stressed so we wanted to relive our childhood days.

Yes we are very childish but it was really fun HAHA.

She looks like she didn't wear shorts here but she did.

I love Vicky! (: Do you realise that her face never change. She'll never change her facial expression when she takes pictures I don't know why HAHA. I left my precious notebook at her place ): At some point of time Vicky scared me because she was making something out of the bluetooth thing and she thought that there was something in her room and we started screaming in broad daylight omg.
And uh we did study, we were just taking a break so we took many many pictures. She even made a short video clip out of it HAHA.

I think Vicky is either really smart or she's very lucky because her results are good but I don't think she studies very hard HAHA. I mean she does her work at the last minute, she doesn't have tuition, she doesn't really pay attention during some of her lectures and she can somehow manage to score well for her tests!

Schools starts again tomorrow.

2008-09-06T11:45:00.000-07:00

Someone take away all these insecurities please? ):
Sometimes it hurts so bad I don't know what to do.
I really don't.

2008-09-03T18:32:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY VICKY!

This is Vicky my bestfriend! HAHA.

Why are you always so busy I can't even celebrate with you on your birthday! But it's okay we'll find another day. (: Remember we used to have our walks everyday and people even thought that we were together, omg wth HAHA. We'll have our usual sunday thing again okay! And I really hope to see you soooooon. We'll go shopping together again after promos! Yay you're finally seventeen please grow up HAHA okay kidding. (:

If I had the money honey would you love me love me love me if I wasn't just somebody like me! HAHA I think this song is so catchy! & and it's so nice to sing it although it's kind of sad. I like so many songs now I think I can sing forever.

Dental appointment tomorrow morning! I'm always looking forward to dental appointments. We're going to put the same colour yay (: Dinner tomorrow! (:

2008-08-31T19:15:00.000-07:00

We're flying through the night way up high,
the view from here is getting better with you by my side.

Partners!

JunYang!

I look like a dwarf beside Benedict!

Service Learning at Ascension kindergarten! I didn't know it was there all along HAHA. I was damn damn damn excited the little kids are soooo cuteeeeeee! Our performance was a success. (: It was really nice seeing the kids sing along. They laughed at Wilson the clock man hahaha so funny. Shanshan the mother had to keep spreading peanut butter on slices of bread because we kept eating and eating at the backstage even before the second performance!

Everything there is so tiny! The mirrors in the children's toilet are at my waist level so when I had to check my hair I had to bend down so much HAHA. Little children get to play with sand and I wonder why I didn't get to do that.

I made new little friends! (: My favourite girl is Alicia she's sooo small and adorable but quite reserved. This little girl called Joy talked to me the longest because her classmates went to the gym(!) but she didn't. She asked me a lot of questions hahaha so cute la can't stand it. Another small boy showed me his girlfriend HAHA I was so amused.

I think taking care of little kids can be quite draining. You have to be hyped up all the time and keep them entertained all day oh man. I felt so tired after that I just wanted to go home and sleep. And I kept sneezing! But it was so fun I love it I should consider being a kindergarten teacher HAHA.

Part of delta. Miss them soooo much. Sarahj said "go back cedar so must wear (vj) tie" HAHA.

Natalie Wee

Buddddyyyy!

Look at Natalie's face HAHAHA.

Went back to Cedar on teachers' day! (: Couldn't be happier to see them again. It was so chaotic and noisy outside the staffroom. I saw Mrs Chia my favouriteeee teacher from afar, didn't get to talk to her. ): Didn't get to take pictures with classmates.

As usual we took about ten years to leave and decide what to eat. It's always like when we're about to leave, something happens, and we wait. Then someone goes missing, and we wait. So after twenty minutes we were still there and I was chanting "I'm so hungry I'm so hungry" like some idiot because I was starving! Cheryl was too hungry and tired to say anything. HAHA omg the whole thing was damn funny.
Anw ten of us went to ramen ten for lunch! (: I didn't even finish half of it because it was damn filling. I miss all the nonsensical things that we used to say and do together, how I look forward to school because of all of you, how all of you are able to make me laugh at the smallest things. I love gatherings like this. (:

Second second second (: Haha W always laughs at me I don't know why! Watched 4bia! Omg it was damn scary and definitely wayyyyy better than Strangers. I thought someone said she's very brave and doesn't get scared easily HAHA but look who covered her eyes HAHA so funny! But it was really a freaking horror movie you know omg damn scary. I didn't dare to put my legs on the floor so I think I was in an awkward position but really too scared to move. The story about the camp is hilarious hahaha the guys so amusing. Last one about the air stewardess is the scariest! We had soup spoon for dinner I love soup spoon! (: Anw I know you wanted to wear black tie. Are you scared now! HAHA. We didn't take pictures though. ):

I can feel myself turning into a pig I keep eatingggg! And I can't wait for dinner haha. Fitness test tomorrow. Promos coming and I'm so dead.

Life is great let's stop worrying for a while.

2008-08-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

When all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know you do.

Received the schedule for promos today. Looking at it makes my heart skip two beats and unknowingly it starts to beat faster. Yes I'm scared. This reminds me of how I felt last year when I was looking at the schedule for mid years. Or was it Prelims. I was so nervous! But at the same time I feel so happy looking at it because I know that once this is over I can afford to play all I want, watch movies, hang out, read books which I've always wanted to (!), sleepovers (!!), retail therapy (!!!), hahahaha omg I feel quite excited now listing all these down.

Tomorrow is service learning day and my class is going down to ascension kindergarten yayyy. (: We went there during ME just now to have a feel of how the place is like. We saw little children hahaha sooooo cuteeee! I shall go make friends with them tomorrow and abduct one home HAHA okay I'm kidding. (:

I'm supposed to have dental appointment on Thursday which I was looking forward to but all the extra lessons are making it impossible. ):

Four more days (: (: (:

2008-08-20T21:36:00.000-07:00

Today is a winding road,
tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know.

x I've been falling asleep at about ten plus or eleven these few days and I'm so upset with myself. I think I'm too tired and that's the reason why I keep falling asleep so early without getting things done. Sigh how am I supposed to study if this goes on?

x Have been told many times that level of fitness is to be maintained. And I'm really worried. Haven't really been running. The last time I ran was last Monday which is damn long ago. Without a doubt I know that my stamina's dropped. Tremendously. Fitness test is coming and I'm quite scared.

Suddenly I feel like I have a thousand and one things to do and I'm sick of making lists of things I'll never finish. You know I don't really say it but sometimes I'm really afraid. Sometimes things are so routined that I don't even feel anything at all; I'm just going though the motions. I don't know why I'm doing it, all I know is I need to, I need to and I need to.

Anyway last week I met up with Shahini, Vicky and Varruna to celebrate her birthday (: Really glad to see them after so long. Shahini took off her braces only recently I haven't seen it yet! I don't want to take off mine hahaha. Meeting Vicky this Sunday to study yay can't waittttt. (: Don't know how many times I've mentioned this but I really can't study at home. I think it's the air or something I don't know. Okay nonsense I know it's my self discipline. I think when I study at home I study best at night. And I'm contradicting myself because I just said that I keep falling asleep damn early. HAHA I mean I study best at night provided that I don't fall asleep. Okay I should stop blabbering things that I don't think anyone understands.

I can't emphasize this enough but I have to say that I really hate school. Never thought that I'd hate school this much. I mean I loved school when I was in Cedar. I think I'm still in a daze or something what am I doing in school! Right I didn't just say that. And I hate pw yuckkkk it's the most disgusting subject ever and I hate it to the core. Such a waste of time and energy and resources and my youth! HAHA you get the point.

I miss SoupSpoon. I miss carefree days. I like cold drinks. I miss staying over at Vicky's house HAHA. I want to read good books. I embarrassed myself during PE again sorry I can't click with balls HAHA. And I think Adilah is damn funny omg HAHAHA. Shan Shan tried to flirt with Eve HAHA and I think Eve got scared and she was like "Go away go away!" HAHA. Service learning preparation was productive! Hahaha I'm so excited to interact with the little kids! (:

Anw little wwww delivered dinner to me on Sunday haha soooo sweet right (: I think the third attempt at a surprise and the first successful one HAHA. I'm so fortunate don't you think so! (:

2008-08-17T09:55:00.000-07:00

What if I told you something that you thought I don't know?

2008-08-06T23:05:00.000-07:00

Stop worrying about the things you can't change.

So far so good! Don't I look happier these few days! I think singfest did something to me hahaha I don't know. Anyway singfest was a blast I miss singfest! The weather was damn hot but it was worth it! (: I like Jason Mraz he's awesome! Someone wants to marry him (and Justin Timberlake! So greedy HAHA). PCD's performance was damn hot! Someone was so very excited I know! Oh Joyene so funny HAHA. I saw Ms L there HAHA. Love the company. (:

We learnt the acers day dance during PE today! HAHA it was so fun hahaha Eve kept making weird noises. Yeah la I know I didn't really dance when our class was called because everyone was staring haha but still I danced before that okay! HAHA I saw dancing king with his moves HAHAHAH he stood in front somemore omg you have hidden talent eh not bad go unleash your potential quick quick!

Almost everyone's so stressed. Studies, trainings, whatnot. Please take care everyone don't fall sick! You know how freaking scared I am when I look at the training schedule. Sometimes I really wonder how I'm going to make it through but it's okay I know I will. And we'll get through this together. (: I'm trying to accept what I can't change and focus on what I'm supposed to do instead of worrying all the time and I must say that it's actually working. (: I'm choosing not to let things affect me and I'm really trying very, very hard to do so. It makes me a much happier person. (: Smiling makes people happy. I didn't realise that I have such positivity in me.

But you know during times like this I would really like to have something to lean on. And I'm constantly looking for that something to pull me through. That pillar of strength, that source of motivation. Tell me am I being too dependent?

Vicky's in New Zealand for her geog trip now. Mine will be at the end of the year and because of this I'll be missing precious water time. ):

I'm telling myself over, and over, and over again, that what matters is what I give. And somehow this makes me feel better. I know you need more time. I can pretend that I didn't see a thing but do you know how I felt when I saw those things?

I love seeing you around school. (:

Another day another challenge another smile. Come on I can do this.

2008-08-05T22:20:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NURIN! (:
I didn't hide secret from you okay it's just that you didn't ask HAHA. I miss you so much!

Talk is cheap.

There are times when I really want an answer.
With one eye closed, I can pretend that I didn't see a single thing.

I'm happy, really.

2008-08-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

"Because when we first meet people, everyone puts on his or her best face. We put on the best clothes, we act the nicest we've ever done. It takes time to see the real person."

SAJC Canoeing Team (:

I'm supposed to be doing work but look at what I'm doing now. Nvm just let me rant. You know I hate it when I have PMS and what's worse is this happens every month without fail, maybe with the exception of last month, and I have absolutely no control over it. Damn it I get so irritated and annoyed and stressed and tired and everything negative, it's like this emotional ride which I hate hate hate. It makes me feel like hiding in a corner and cry. The smallest things get me upset. It makes me feel like some stupid childish pessimistic person who has no control over her life or whatsoever. It makes me feel like some anti-social kid who chooses to keep quiet and at the same time everything is building up inside. It decreases my level of tolerance and makes me impatient. It makes me hate school even more. Sigh why must I have pms ):

x That scene keeps flashing before me and I can't ignore it. Stop, you make me feel like screaming. I don't want to have doubts.

x Sometimes I look at them and I wonder what this could've been if I'd started this correctly.

Anw on a lighter note, first month was aaaaaawesome! (: Although the surprise wasn't exactly a surprise HAHA sorry I think I spoilt the plan, again. I think the sunflower died, but I hope the soccer bear is still alive. HAHA someone's trying to make me fat ): Oh we watched prom night! I remember counting down to it hahaha. It's better than strangers which made no sense and dark knight which made us sleep. Lovely day, thank you (:

Had training just now. Coach made us carry boats by ourselves. I can't place the boat on my shoulder the right way! I hate it when it slips or when my paddle isn't held properly and when I can't balance it and when I have no strength to climb that first step up or do anything, sigh.

I need to study. I need to sleep. I need to run. I'm so in love with yong tau foo now hahaha. Braces hurting my tongue. ):

SINGFEST tomorrow hahaha yay I'm so so sooooo excited! (: More time together. (:

2008-07-25T00:10:00.000-07:00

So we're running just as fast as we can.

I'm so disgusted by the fact that everything's so superficial.

Somehow I'm too tired to think back right now. I think lessons are as boring as ever, trainings are becoming more stressful, I predict that the workload is going to pile up, I can see myself being buried underneath gasping for breath. Anyway I think I'm supposed to be a little more positive, so I should say that I can see myself conquering everything instead. Yay?

Everyone's tired, everyone's so busy. I'm scared. Yong tau foo is the best HAHA. Why don't I see improvement? I miss eating unhealthy food oh no. I feel like watching some sad movie. Sometimes I can't help but to feel insecure. I like Math. I think you're nice. Why do we like to compare? I need sleep. I don't know what to feel. I. Want. To. Sleep. I hate school.

Tomorrow's Friday yesssssssss! (: Friday's become my favourite day of the week! I love Fridays (: Training on Saturday morning and team dinner in the evening! I'm so excited! (: Hopefully I can meet Vicky on Sunday or something. Haven't seen her for quite some time. TGIF TGIF TGIF. (: Learning journey tomorrow!

I'm a happy girl. (: About four more days, are you excited! Someone thinks that I live under a rock HAHA.

2008-07-18T23:30:00.000-07:00

Look at any memories you've made. And if you believe in those memories, they will pull you back together.

I'm chatting with Natalie Wee online! :D :D HAHAAH our conversation's damn funny hahahahaah omg can't stop laughing.

!XNat. says:
this is a very wrong conversation!!!
!XNat. says:
omg tell meeeeee

HAHAHA. She's getting excited I don't know why. She makes me happy HAHA hello, we're supposed to meet! Soon okay! (: We keep saying we want to meet but haven't even met yet! Stop growing natalie, you're already taller than me, enough! HAHA.

Talked to Sarahj on the phone yesterday! :D For a while only. Her voice reminded me of how we used to talk a lot. Kind of miss her voice actually.

I miss good old times, don't you?

2008-07-17T23:40:00.000-07:00

I. Don't. Know.

2008-07-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

Shit. Shit. Shitttzzzzz. !@#%$!#@$

2008-07-15T21:30:00.000-07:00

I love this picture.

2008-07-14T22:22:00.000-07:00

I got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud.

School's backkk. I was extremely depressed in the morning, thinking about the workload and all. I think maybe I should start changing my mindset, maybe I should learn to like everything in school so it won't be such a drag. Got back every subject. I think I need to pass econs so everything will be fine. I don't like to think about school. ): I would rather go for canoeing all day haha. I love canoeing! And the team! (:

I think I'm addicted to blogging. Or typing whatever that's on my mind. It feels good doesn't it! Not like I have all the time in the world but I think this kind of helps me in some way haha okay I hope I make sense.

I really, really ought to stop wasting my precious time.

What's so hard about accepting people?

This is how I do when I think about you.

2008-07-14T00:44:00.000-07:00

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colours,
I don't wanna ever love another.

I'm quite lazy to upload pictures haha, can get from people's blogs! (: Team dinner was aaaaawesome I love it! (: Although we were not sitting at the same table haha. I like seeing us so happy together! Took many many pictures! (: Eugene is a very, very good captain. And I think even that's an understatement.

I finally met Vicky today! (: We went shopping together and I spent a lot! Yessss satisfied with the things I bought although there's a huge hole in my wallet now. ): Supposed to study at the library afterwards but I read a book instead. Vicky obviously didn't study either haha she was busy messaging and walking around! W came afterwards yayyy we survived the 5 days! (: Can't wait for movieeee (:

Doubts. Why?
I want to see people I miss ):
I hate school so much do you know that? I need to catch up on my school work.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YINGSI! (: Meet up soon!

2008-07-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

I could stay lost in this moment forever.

This blog is not dead yettttt!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINA! (:

Couldn't be in school today so we gave her a surprise birthday celebration in school yesterday! (: She was surprised! (: Sorry I couldn't help eating the sweets first haha.

Haven't been blogging for a looonnnnggg time. Always lazy/tired/busy. Anyway school's back and I absolutely hate it. I think common tests results are going to be out and I think mine are going to suck like shit. Or worse than that. Ms C said she wanted to lock us in a room and pump ammonia gas inside (obviously she was kidding), because the highest in class for math is a D and only 6 people passed. I got a Superb for chem. Not bad. HAHA. And I've no idea about the resttt.

Nats started yesterday! Today was my k1 500m event! I was soooo nervous and worried in the morning that I had to shit. HAHA. When I was paddling to the starting line my hands were trembling a liiitttleeee and I was thinking omg no no no stop shaking stop stop stoppp! but it wasn't that bad afterall. (: After the horn went off I only had two things in mind: Go for the finishing line and don't capsize. It was a really great experience and coach was very encouraging! (: The next two days will be the semi finals and finals! So excitinggg! All the way seniors! (:

29th June is a very very special day! (: Haha seeee, I'm not that forgetful. (:

I need to go shopping. I have many many things to buy!

I can't see you for the next three days ):

2008-06-17T01:45:00.000-07:00

Do you remember or should I rewind,
to that summer when you caught my eye?

Hello, I miss these people, my lovely lovely pltmates (: Not full strength though, half couldn't make it. I miss the times when I'd message them random stuffs and everything and I miss that sense of belonging. Anyway we met on thursday before co night! (: We made a hell lot of noise at burger king hahaha as usual. I really missed that noise. It reminded me of the recesses we used to have together. We'd go on and on and laugh at the silliest things and we'd never get bored. And again they fought HAHA even on the train. Nurin almost fell HAHA. We made so much noise, couldn't stop talking and shouting and laughing and fighting that we had to resort to one minute of silence HAHAHA omg hilarious. Everything made me feel so tired even before co night haha. It was great though. Pltmates never fail to make my day. (: (:

Study date with Vicky at the national library just now. (: It was rather productive. (: More productive that what I usually do at home. I can't study at home for nuts. I end up looking for food, exploring my own house, playing with my hair, opening the fridge a thousand times, daydreaming, stoning, falling asleep.. I do anything but study. This is how much time I always waste when I try studying at home. I think I lack self-discpline. And I think it got worse when I step into jc. I don't remember being like this last year, haha.

I have this very strong urge to go shopping again! Nvm I must resist the temptation! I have no time anw haha and I have not enough mooooooolah. My mum would probably start nagging if I continue shopping because she claims that I already have many many many things. Which is partially true. Not exactly. Haha.

I feel like being random today. I feel like typing out whatever that comes to my mind. It feels good to type and let (almost) everything out right now. I think if I really do this I wouldn't make any sense to anyone but it's alright I guess. (:

I hope the same damn thing won't happen to me again. I've experienced it once and I think it's enough, I've learnt my lesson the hard way and I don't want to experience it all over again. All the waiting games and sleepless nights and tears and pointless conversations and stupid thoughts. I guess this is why I'm so afraid of having false hopes high now.

I think I'm very dark. I want to go for a movie marathon. Sometimes I don't know if I should believe you.

I don't think I've ever said this but do you know how much I hate school now? And I think that I'm going to hate school more and more as the days go by. School's depressing, sigh. I don't remember feeling like this. Back in Cedar I couldn't wait for the weekends and holidays to be over. I couldn't wait to get back to school. I couldn't wait to get out of bed. Right now things are a total opposite. Canoeing is perhaps the only thing that I look forward to currently. And the fact that I have friends in school is really comforting.

Anyway I think I'm happy. (: I should be happy with what I have now. And I am. (: I think my life is good. (: One of the things that I'm extremely thankful for is Vicky. (: My bestfrienddddd hahaha. She likes to call me idiot. It's okay because I call her that too. HAHA. I think she secretly likes to listen to my nonsense. So poor thing she has to listen to my complaints and everything. I think without her I'll just curl up and die or something HAHA. She doesn't mind doing anything with me. She's always tempted to shop. Hahaha so am I. She pulled me into crystal jade just now when I didn't even agree to! So sad we aren't in the same school. It'd be more than awesome man. I love her a lot I think she is the only one that can really read my mind. I don't even have to say a single word and she knows what I'm thinking.

I think I've mentioned this before but never mind I would like to say it again. (Oh my new fav song is say it again by marie digby! haha) I think I'm really lucky to have met wonderwall as a friend. (: (Finally) someone with no curfew and don't mind walking a lot with me and around the same area somemore HAHA and gives me morning messages and falls asleep earlier than me almost everyday and gives me some kind of reassurance whenever I have doubts and suddenly lost interest in collecting smiles HAHA. Prom night prom night prom night! (:

I think half of my motivation disappeared. I think I must learn to be strong. I think I should stop eating so much. I think I should stop being such a lazy ass. I think I shouldn't daydream so much. I think I'm tired. I think I should put in more effort. I think I should go for one last shopping spree (yeah okay dream on). I think I'm not done rambling. I think I miss you. I think I should shut up and sleep now.

Am I being too dependent?

2008-06-09T14:05:00.000-07:00

With those eyes and that smile, I think I'll be here for a while.

HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY SHAHINI SHAIRAH SIDHU!
Met Vicky and Shahini for shoppinggggg! (: Shahini got a bag from Forever 21 and it only costs nineteeeeeeeeeen dollars what a good bargain right! It's green and it looks nice and big! (: All was good, bought quite a lot of things (: Headed to Art Cafe after that. Bet Vicky missed sexy johnny hahahahah ew. Okay anyway, there was this guy who sang Jason Mraz I'm Yours and Vicky totally melted. HAHA. So whenever I listen to it that guy will appear in my head. Vicky and I were trying to find a way to surprise Shahini with the cookie cake. We almost did it but yours truly, being the idiot, was too scared to hold it so we failed miserably. HAHAHA. In the end we left it on the table and when she got back we asked her to open it, and that was the surprise, which actually worked I think. HAHA.

Met wonderwalllllll! (: Walked around the same area for the hundredth time but it's okay! Hahaha. We went for an adventure! Got lost at some carpark because we didn't know how to get into the mall! It was damn hot and we were perspiring like crazy, asked some people and finally found the way. Watch narnia! I didn't really get it but never mind haha, the seat was very comfortable I didn't feel like getting up. I could just fall asleep there but it was very cold! Went east coast for star gazing! (: I fell asleep. You wouldn't want to know how I slept. HAHA. Anw I missed the sunrise. ): Breakfast at macs and ended up falling asleep again at some bench. Watched Kung Fu Panda hahahahaaha omg the movie is so funny HAHAHA the panda is sooooo cuteeeeeeeee! (: (: (: Pastamania for lunch and home sweet home. (:

I was so looking forward to that day and suddenly when the day is over I don't know what to do because there's nothing to look forward to.

Taken quite some time ago when we had breakfast at the airport. I felt too comfortable and it completely slipped my mind that I was in public so I did that because my nose was running! And Vicky said "Kathleen stop it you're in public!" and then I realised what I did. HAHAHA she thinks that it is disgusting HAHA no okay I didn't even stuff the tissue in my nose! And she took a picture of it. See see see it doesn't even look disgusting right. It looks perfectly normal. Hahaha.

Anyway I gave training a miss today since I'm having this stupid period. Damn. ):
Oh yes I'm going to meet Vicky again later! (: Yayyy can't wait. I think I've been eating damn a lot lately and I should really start cutting down. I'm looking forward to 12th June yes yessssss pltmates! Yay (: I miss the noise and company.

Alright I'm going to get ready to meet Vicky later. (:

2008-06-01T16:15:00.000-07:00

"Maybe who we are isn't so much about what we do, but rather what we're capable of when we least expect it."

Hahaha look at the colours!

2008-05-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

And now there's a voice inside my heart that's got me wondering.

As much as I want to believe you, I can't. I don't know why I have to get myself into this kind of situation. I could jolly well be free from this and be contented with what I already have. It's all my fault. ): I don't want to care so much about how people perceive me. I don't want to put you in a spot. I want everyone to be happy. Maybe that's too much to ask for.

I don't want to be compared.

2008-05-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's true, I'm caught up on you.

HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY TIFFANY! :D

Tan Yan Ying didn't want to smile properly because her math tutorial was stressing her out haha (:

Ex table parters! (: Her fish Ronaldo died.

Met up with Vicky, Shahini and Yanying before band concert! (: We were supposed to do our work and study but in the end only Yanying did. Haha we were chatting most of the time. Shahini and Vicky spent the afternoon editing pictures. I don't know what I was doing. I stoned and slept haha.

Band concert was awesome :D Yay got to see Yingsi! And we could spot Eve so easily haha. Anyway in short I enjoyed the concert, the play was really funny esp the mysterious person hahaha.

Met wonderwall (HAHA new name!) the next day! Highlights: zooooooo and night safari! :D It was supposed to be a surprise but I kind of spoilt it because I got that right! Hahaha but it's okay. (: We had bk breakfasttt and she kept taking candid pictures of me! Watched iron man for the second time. She kept insisting that I should use the jacket when she must have felt cold too. ): Went to the zoooo! Had Ben&Jerry's. (: And popcorn. Once I got hold of the cup I started eating and I finished about half of it, when initially I said that I didn't want it. Haha oh no such a piggggg. HAHA someone's so gullible HAHAHA omg so funny the baskets are not for them to cross over to the other side! Hahahaha. Night safari was more exciting than zoo! (: Much more to seeeeeee. Tram ride was good, very nice breeze (: Walked a bit on the trail. Quite dark, very scary. Someone wanted to scare me so she went to hide and left me alone! But I found her hahaha (: Yayyyy had a lot of fun on that day! (: (: (: Reached home late, but she reached home later ):

Oh wellll, it's the last day of term two! Saw the training schedule. This holiday is going to be damn packed, with all the homework, revision, trainings, pw meetings and whathaveyou. There are so many things to do I don't even know how to begin. I look at my own schedule and I can feel the stress already. Time is going to zoooooom at full speed and before we know it we'll be sitting for common tests. ): Everything's in a mess now. I have to sort everything out and hopefully things will look better. Instead of being scared and worried and whatnot, I think I should do something about it. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I know I must, because this isn't so much of a choice.

I'm trying very hard to stay calm and at least have a positive mindset. They say it's all in the mind right? Honestly I'm very worried. I really have no idea how to cope. And I really want to be promoted please please please?
Sometimes I really hate it when everything's so superficial. I don't mention it but I notice it a lot. ): It kind of scares me how selfish people can be. ): I don't know who to tell what. I miss Vicky. I haven't talked to her for days because both of us are so busy! ): Did I mention that I'm so thankful to have wonderwall as a friend? Somehow she always gives me the reassurance that I need. And never fails to cheer me up! (: Hahahahaha sunshine.

I don't know why I'm waiting. What am I waiting for? And how long am I supposed to wait? Patience. Patience requires time. And I'm running out of it.

2008-05-15T23:20:00.000-07:00

Didn't you want to hear the sound of all the places we could go?

Cedar Connect on friday was not bad. (: We had the chance to don our blue and grey again! :D :D I was damn excited to wear it you know! I miss the original school compound though. The holding site didn't bring back much memories. Haha. Yayyy finally got to spend some time with pltmates! We did our usual things in the canteeeeeen! It felt damn good because I didn't feel restricted like how I do in a mixed school. We could scream and shout and talk and jump and run all we want and all was familiar. (: The moment Nurin Amalia saw me, she shouted my name and ran towards me and started pinching my cheeks! Very painfulllll I thought my face was going to come off. We ate like vultures again hahaha, must live up to the name right. Sang our lovely lovely school song! (: Blablabla I'm kind of lazy to go on, but I really had fun. (:

Went out on Sundayyyy! (: Watched What Happens In Vegas hahaha funny movie. Anyway yay I liked that day, it was everything nice. (: (:

School's been a draggggg ): So much work, so many presentations, so little time! Not enough time okay so annoying why always not enough time! Andddd why am I always running out of time? Yes, okay, I know I don't know how to manage my time well. ): Sometimes I think I just need to take a deep breath and move along and hopefully everything will be fine. Anyway, haha I think I've become a little more optimistic and it surprises me sometimes.

DM showed us some videos during PE yesterday! It was raining and we didn't have much time left so there was no point in playing games. The videos were quite inspiring. Haha. Esp the one which said don't quit until you have nothing left.

Mr L talked to us again during civics. Sigh sometimes I think he makes so much sense that the things he says always hit me right there and then. He made us write our grades on the target setting form as well as some commitment thing. I think it actually helped a bit. Haha.

Anyway I haven't done anything productive these few days. ): Always reach home late and I'll be so tired. I've been falling asleep without completing my work. I'm looking forward to the holidays! Need to catch up on many many many things. Need to be more organised and pack my things. Need to go shopping. HAHA okay ignore that. Anddddd, I think there'll be a lot of trainings coming up.

Oh I don't feel like blogging anymore BYEEEEE.

2008-05-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

When emotions take over the rational self,

School ended later than usual today and math test is ooovvvveerrrrrr yayyyy. (: I think I'm very lazy and I ought to be shot. I should grasp the concept of time management asap if I don't wish to regret.

Sometimes I'm so afraid and worried that I can't catch up, regardless of school work or canoeing. There's so much to do that I'm too afraid to look at the list. Test after test, one mountain of homework, revision, PW; Mileage, strength, stamina, JK, K1. Sometimes I get this feeling that I'm lagging behind and I hate it. ):
Am I not trying hard enough?

2008-05-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

Love's not a because. It's a no matter what.

Our teacher wasn't there for during GP so we took many pictures and had a lot of fun! :D

(:

OMGGGGGG HAHA don't try this! Everyone was so freaked out and went "AAAHHH!" Hahahaha.

HAHAHA look at Benedict's face.

I like my class (:

2008-05-02T00:40:00.000-07:00

It's like we're going through the motions, of a scripted destiny.

I love water training today :D I think I've made an improvement because I finally find JK stable, compared to the previous times. I can't use K without tapping though. Tried K2 with Jonathan. Initially I felt quite scared because he's so fast and I can't even balance K1 properly. But it was actually very very fun hahahaha. I think he was the one making the canoe move and did most of the paddling and balancing because I didn't feel like I contributed anything although I paddled too. Tried K2 with Rachel. We capsized thrice I think haha. Yay water training was damn fun today, very nice I like! (: (:

-

Please please please?

2008-04-27T23:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the heart takes unexpected turns.

This week's been good, I made a new friend hee hee (:

Sometimes I don't know what shit I'm getting myself into.

Cheeeeehao is so funny hahahaha he keeps singing!

Okay I'm sleepy goodnight everyone there's school tomorrow.

2008-04-22T22:51:00.000-07:00

Being brave doesn't mean that you aren't scared out of your wits. You are- the whole time- but you just keep on doing what you have to.

2008-04-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

I think I'd better not hope for so much. It wouldn't be easy later on.

2008-04-18T23:30:00.000-07:00

The first thing that my dentist asked when she saw me was, "Why are you so dark?" Hahaha. Anyway I wanted to blog about something but I forgot about it after sleeping for two hours. I want Monday to come so it won't feel like I'm wasting time. I don't want Monday to come because the mad rush will start again. Weekends, thank goodness.

2008-04-18T19:50:00.000-07:00

My room is in a mess like always, things are all over the place, and I refuse to do some tidying. I'm so tempted to jump onto my bed and fall asleep like that.

2008-04-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall.

Back from training camp. Two days one night in school. Yay it was funnnnnn! It was, in retrospect, not exactly that tough but at that point of time it was damn tiring. Wheelbarrow around the burning track gave me the biggest blister of my life so far. Had to go for dragon boating with a bandaged hand. Tiff's blister's worse though. But anyway, I love that sense of satisfaction (and achievement?). (: Got to know the seniors better and realised that they are actually quite nice although they seem scary. (:

I remember how I used to like camps (regardless of which- ncc, oac, ltc, etc) back in the secondary school days because they always get my mind off the busy schedule and fast-paced life for a while.

I have a pile of undone work which could dwarf mount everest. So much homework to be completed, tests coming up, chemistry is almost driving me nuts, I'm getting sick of pw.. and it's just the beginning.

2008-04-10T21:30:00.000-07:00

What if you could focus on the things that really matter?

I think school's such a bore. I was practically falling asleep during lectures. I am there physically but mentally, I'm somewhere else. Had chem test just now. I wasn't really prepared. Questions were easier than expected but, aye just let me pass it. I still think that I am very lazy and I ought to stop this. Sometimes I'm so tired that when I reach home I fall asleep. And once I sleep I can forget about waking up until hours later. The days are passing by so quickly I don't know what I'm doing.

"Hello Ms Hon!"
"Hello! You are getting darker man!"

Haha yeah I know. I like Ms Hon and I miss her teaching.

Training camp tomorrow!

Blogs are not safe at all, and I wonder if the teachers in SA read blogs like how Cedar teachers do.

2008-04-07T21:50:00.000-07:00

Talked to Narmadha after training. Her ankle's injured. ): She looked so sad. Sigh, sometimes it hurts to see your friend like that. ): Get well soon Narmadha!

2008-04-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

It's all in the mind.

Sigh I think I kind of wasted the weekend. ): I don't think I actually did any productive work.. uh maybe, chem?

Anyway, I was very mentally-prepared for 2.4 on thursday, and guess what? IT POURED. It freaking poureddddd, cats and dogs. But we carried on with the other tests- pullups and pushups. Damn it I can't do pullups. ): Must train must train must train.

Optional water training on Friday wasn't good at all. Something was wrong with me, so disappointed in myself. First attempt with K, capsized so many times that I had to go back to JK. And even with JK, I couldn't avoid capsizing. ): Whenever I want to paddle the correct way, I capsize. And that was the first time in so many water trainings that I actually got to know how it feels like to capsize. Seriously I felt so irritated with myself. ):

Water training yesterday was a little better. At least I can move with K now. But I have to keep tapping because I can't balance that well yet. And I take a very long time to make a turn. ): I've got to try harder- a lot harder. Lunch with the canoe people (did I mention I really like them?), reached home and I tried to do some work. Couldn't make it- fell asleep from 7 or 8 plus allllll the way till morning. I even overslept, ended up meeting Vicky late. Did some work, but half the time we were busy talking, esp after lunch. Haha.

I should must will stop being a lazy ass.

2008-04-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

Spot check this morning and I was caught for my skirt. Initially, she thought that the length was alright..
"Did you fold your skirt?"
"No."

until she lifted up my blouse and saw that I wasn't wearing it at the waist.
"Aiiiyooooo!! So short ah! Girl, why so short?!? Cannot la, girl. Do you want me to bring you to the principal? Huh, do you?!?! What's your name!"

?!?!?! She said all those in chinese (wow, she knows I'm a chinese. amazing.) and she kept going on about the skirt and I don't know what shit she's talking about. Omg I can't stand it. Firstly, it isn't even short. Four fingers above the knee, it's stated in the handbook for goodness sake. Secondly, why can't I wear it a little below the waist? I'm not even wearing it at the hip. As long as the skirt is of the appropriate length and it's not at the hip and it actually looks okay, I don't see the need to wear it so freaking high up.

Those who folded their skirts were also caught and they don't even accept their explanations. The person next to me folded hers, but the length was like 2 fingers above knee, which is obviously not short. And that teacher said, "No! That is five fingers above knee. Why must you fold it.. BLABLABLA."
People were asked to unpick even though their skirts are not even short. Some, like me, whose skirts are "beyond repair", or so the adults claim, must buy a new skirt and wear it for them to see. They are only satisfied when the skirt touches the knee.
The new skirt goes wayyyyyy past the knee and they actually said, "Yes, that is the way it should be. You look like a student now." and "Do all of you believe that you are beautiful? Don't have to wear short skirts. Look, it looks nice like that." and "Y'all are going to be model students!"

This is so ridiculous. And I really hate it. Wth, wasted my first period and totally spoilt my day. And I wasn't even caught for the previous check.

Ya la ya la teachers are ALWAYS right.

2008-03-31T23:25:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIEL TAN! :D

2008-03-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

If you're on your way I'm not gonna write you to stay

If your heart is nowhere in it, I don't want it for a minute babe,

I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that there's a reason to write you a love song today.

2008-03-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

I can't believe Sunm left. ): Initially we were thinking that we can't be late for school can't be late can't be late, but we ended up leaving the airport at about seven thirty. Haha. Security guard scolded us. "Late already still walk! You want me to take down your names!"

My right thumb is effing painful. All because of captains ball. Didn't catch it properly and omg it really felt like it was going to break. It still hurts when I try to move it. ):

2008-03-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

Sunm is leaving for Canada tomorrow morning and we'll be sending her off before going to school. Sunmeng, take care okay. "Don't get pregnant." Hahahah. No more shopping sprees with you until don't know when. I WILL MISS YOU VERY MUCH! ):

1.Taken taken taken taken taken WHY LIKE THAT?!

2. I don't know how I'm going to do this.

2008-03-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

Friday, 21/3

Omg finally saw Gillian! :D :D She should be in New York with her VJ band by now I think. Went to terminal 3 to send her off with a few classmates at night. She's still as high and jumpy as ever. Hahaha. I was like asking her where she'd been because she kind of disappeared from my life(?!), and she asked me back the same thing because apparently I disappeared from hers too. Anyway I was really damn glad to see her again. (: Made me realise how much I miss her and her nonsense. Sgt Dhilshad was there too! And and and I saw Liting! :D

Saturday, 22/3

After canoeing, met up with pltmates at PP mac! :D For Sunm's farewell. Walked to the old Cedar, and to our disappointment the gate was locked. Pleaded the security guard and I didn't expect him to let us in! (: We were making so much noise- that same old Delta noise. It felt damn good; we were back to a place where we grew and learnt, a place where we laughed and cried, a place where we once belonged. Everything felt so lively in that school, even thought it is now a dead site with overgrown weeds, unfiltered water, fallen leaves. It didn't matter if we were living in a world of our own. It was the bond we share that made it special. We walked around the first level, couldn't go up because the shutters were locked. Every place brought back different memories- Delta bench, courtyard, canteen, back of the classroom block, 1st level empty corridor, etc- but it felt the same.
Natalie and Cheryl told Sunm that they had to leave early but in fact they went to buy a cake. When they came back Sunm was like "Eh, they're back?" and she saw the cake. Hahaha.

Sunday, 23/3

Met up with classmates at Minds, for Sunm's farewell. Couldn't wake up in the morning, and I felt so tired that I didn't feel like talking. Until after I had lunch. Ate and played games! HAHA it was hilarious. Jiangwt likes to sadden people because she kept suggesting sad songs.

Sigh, SUNMENG I WILL MISS YOU VERY MUCH! ):

Anyhowww,

Shit, time management. I'm supposed to be a hardworking student.

2008-03-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

I hate it when I have to try fitting in, be friendly, and put on a smile when people don't reciprocate.

You have killer stares.

Anw,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADLIN! :D

2008-03-15T11:05:00.000-07:00

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight,

Thursday, 13/3

Went shopping with Vicky! (: Tried to use the $150 vouchers but I couldn't find anything nice. After which, made an attempt to do some work at Starbucks without much success. Ended up talking and talking. The pasta salad is damn gross. I can't believe she ate the soggy ikan bilis. It looked like it'd just been taken out of the pond or something, HAHA okay disgusting.

Friday, 14/3

Racial Harmony. Hahaha.

Finally had the chance to see Shahini and Varruna. (: Had lunch at some turkish restaurant. Yay good food. Caught Rule#1 which is not bad I guess. But I didn't get the last part because I was busy messaging (was told about the cancelled class dinner). Wanted to watch The Orphanage but the earliest was at midnight.

Oh we saw Wong Li-lin at MNG! She's so preeetty and slim! And what a coincidence, I saw Ariel toooo! (: HAHA it was so funny.

Saturday, 15/3

Yayyy went out (yes, out again) with Cheryl and Sunmeng! :D It was really nice seeing them. Intended to shop but it got rather boring because singapore is so small you see, everywhere sells the same thing so we watched Sky Of Love. Omg it's really nice! The Hiro guy is soooo sweet. And it's very touching. Rather heartbreaking at some parts. I cried a river I think. It'd been long since I cried so much over a movie. Sunm and I started laughing because Cheryl sobbed quite loudly hahaha. And the movie ticket is freaking expensive okay. But the movie's worth it so it doesn't matter. Watch it watch it! (:

Anyway school will be back on Monday. ): Sigh. Actually I wanted this holiday to be somewhat productive but it failed to, miserably. The weather for the past few days was crazy. Had been wanting to jog at night but it just kept raining and raining. And I'm getting lazier and lazier with each rainy day, to the extent that I don't even feel like exercising anymore, even though the weather was fine just now, and still is.

Just finished watching Yinxue's videos at Sunm's blog. Made me miss Cedar more. And my classmates. ): I miss Jiangweiting's laughter.

2008-03-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

How small things can jog the memory of past experiences.

I feel so school-sick now. And when I say school, I mean Cedar, not SA. I miss my friends, esp my pltmates (above) and classmates. ): Yes, I've made great friends in sa, but the feeling is.. different. Quote Sarahj, "Cedar was home." and will always be. There's no place like home. I could totally be myself in front of my friends. They were always there, we would always do things together (every single thing), I could laugh as loudly as I want, run around like it was my playground, scream when stressed, blah blah blah. I miss everything so terribly I don't know what to do.

I guess I'm moving on in one way or another, and I know in time to come, I will. I mean, everyone moves on, even if they don't want to, right? Honestly, after being in sa for 2months++, I still feel lost sometimes, esp since the start of JAE and when the real work comes in. I don't know, maybe I need more time to fully adapt- to the new school and its people. Everything just scares me at times.

Vicky's currently at some camp and she'll only be back tomorrow, I think. I can't wait to talk to her.

I'm too tired to blog about how I really feel and all I can say is: I hate this. I really do.

I miss Cedar like crazy.

2008-03-10T23:20:00.000-07:00

I was telling Yingsi about what happened sometime ago at the sandwich stall and,

YINGSI says:
NO ONE BUY SANDWICH WITH YOU WHN IM NT ARND ANYMMORE

Omg this sentence almost made me cry. ): I MISS YINGSI!

2008-03-09T23:20:00.000-07:00

HILARY TEO IS MAKING ME RECONSIDER CANOEING. AGAIN.
K HELP.

2008-03-09T01:45:00.001-08:00

Heroes didn't leap tall buildings or stop bullets with an outstretched hand; they didn't wear boots and capes. They bled, and they bruised, and their superpowers were as simple as listening, or loving. Heroes were ordinary people who knew that even if their own lives were impossibly knotted, they could untangle someone else's. And maybe that one act could lead someone to rescue you right back.

Term 1 is over and the holidays are here. Time passes too quickly, wayyyy too quickly for my liking. Usually I don't realise one week is over until I actually look back. (Ariel knows that I always say this, haha.) Everyday's a routine: school, lectures, lectures, more lectures, study, homework, sleep. And of course there's phreak clique. :D They spice up my life in school. But of course I would really really like to bond with my class. So I'm looking very forward to the class outing on Friday (I think it's on Friday)! :D

Mr Lian talked to us about jc life during civics and for a moment he scared the hell out of me. No it's not like I didn't know it before, but you know how sometimes these reality checks actually hit you right there and then? Anyway I must stop being so lazy! I'm going to force myself to be hardworking (but have fun at the same time; "time for work and time for play" right. Hahaha). Yeah okay so the point is I MUST STOP BEING LAZY AND GET MOVING. Must! Someone told me that I should change my bad habit of sleeping so late everyday, even Mr Lian mentioned it to us too. I guess I should. Yes I'll try.

Yay I can't wait to go shopping with Sunm and Cheryl on Saturday! :D Miss them so much, esp Cheryl Lwin. I haven't seen her since.. the release of Olevel results! ): And I'm going to meet Shahini (my extablepartner who likes to touch me!), Varruna and Vicky in a few days! Yay hurry please I cannot wait! :D I was chatting with Shahini and she reminded me of the good old days again. Nvm we'll see each other soon! (: And yes, as Ariel said, I miss being in a girls' school too. I didn't even need to care about anything back there. I miss Cedar.

Anw Ariel and I are going through EC REHAB! Yes we can do it! (: And she always forgets what she wants to say whenever she's talking to me. Hahaha. Now someone hang me please. (No I don't mean it literally).

2008-03-05T23:40:00.000-08:00

Christina made me laugh so hard that I was aching all over.

As much as I want to join canoeing, I can't.

2008-03-02T13:02:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's time for me to sort out my life, settle down, leave everything else aside and concentrate on my studies. Should stop procrastinating and be more disciplined. I guess I haven't fully adapted to jc life yet, although I have this delusion that I have. Sometimes I feel so insecure, and at the same time, worried, scared, I don't know why. Okay I think I know, maybe it's just that I refuse to face it. Things always work out, don't they? (Now thinking of "work out", I NEED TO EXERCISE. Badly.)

Anyway, met up with "Sarahj they all" (HAHAHA sarahj) yesterday! That was supposed to be a platoon outing but more than half couldn't make it. ): Nonetheless it was great to see the rest again. (: Missed them so much! Had lunch at Breeks together, some catching up. Such a pity that it was only the few of us!
Went to meet Vicky after that. For a change, she wore her slippers (which I don't think are very comfortable because of the stupid flowers HAHA) instead of her usual heels that hurt and cause blisters. And I think it's under her influence that I'm starting to love desserts. Shopped for a while, quite disappointed because everything looked the same. I hope I can make it tomorrow!

You know how seeing them makes me feel safe and happy instantly? Maybe it's the familiarity, the trust. Sometimes just having them by my side is enough. It feels so good to be together and I don't think anything can or will replace that.

And you know what?
When you have friends like these, nothing else matters. (:

2008-02-29T23:30:00.000-08:00

We had class bonding at the track today and I think we bonded with A01 too. (: I think that was the only interesting thing that happened today because the rest were just talks? I reached home and slept from three plus to seven plus. I had no idea I was so tired.

I almost totally gave up the thought of joining canoeing until Hilary came and talk to me about it. I really want to join canoeing but I don't want to risk my studies for it. I don't know if I'm able to cope with both canoeing and my studies. SO HOWWWW, I DON'T KNOW. ): Why can't I make a decision and why am I so fickle!

2008-02-26T21:45:00.000-08:00

There are some things you just can't bring back, no matter what.

2008-02-24T00:40:00.000-08:00

"And the easiest way to keep from getting burned was to keep a safe distance from anything that looked like a potential fire."

I think I'm not being myself recently. And I'm getting emo shit. ):
I think it's kind of stupid and foolish of me. So ridiculous. I don't know why I am always getting myself into this. I always have to, don't I. Guess I have to heed your advice then, and do myself some good for once.

I think it's a damn small world. You don't know who knows who and how fast news spread and the whole thing is such a coincidence and.. Yes, smaaaalll world. Be surprised.

Anyway I met Vicky twice recently and we talked a lot! (: I don't think we'll ever be done talking so, yeah it's good I guess, at least we'll never run out of topic, I hope? Watched Jumper, but we were so tired that we were falling asleep. Saw Yuting and Yangyang! (:

I miss my class. I want to know my new class soon soon soon. I want to make nice friends so that school'll be fun and not such a bore like nowww. ): And I hope we'll be in the same class again! I want to look forward to school everyday like how I used to, despite the boring lectures. I think I'll die without friends, seriously.
I don't know why, but I realised I feel quite lost and insecure since the start of the second intake. It's like everything's barely familiar anymore.
I'm starting to dislike my sa skirt. Goodbye to Blue & Grey. ): And goodbye to coloured sports bras. Shucks.

Anw congrats to those with successful appeals! (: Hahaha I'm so excited for Narmadha. And I hope Vicky and Sunm will get their calls soon. (Sunm, think carefully okay. Hope you make the right choice!)

There is a bug in my room and it's giving me the creeps. Please go away.

OMG I SEE EVE ONLINE LIKE FINALLYYYYYY SO I THINK I'M GETTING A LITTLE EXCITED AND HAPPY. "FULL OF SHIT" HAHAHAHA. :D :D

2008-02-21T23:25:00.000-08:00

PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEAAASE? ):

2008-02-20T20:25:00.000-08:00

Orientation 2 was boring. So damn boring. ):

Anyway,

Meet Jane the cute little girl!

Don't be so thickskinned and why can't you just take the initiative?

2008-02-18T21:20:00.000-08:00

Oh no tomorrow's the last day of pae and gosh I feel so sad ): ): ):

2008-02-16T14:02:00.000-08:00

Hello, we are demure ladies. (my foot)
Hahaha (:

Yesterday after school was spent at vivo, and back to school around evening for the movie screening. Eve started blowing bubbles at the playground and that attracted quite a few kids and we met a cute little girl! She's called Jane. Hahahah sooo cute okay! She ran and ran but didn't seem to be tired.
Was dreaming most of the time during the movie and fell asleep at the last part. So tired that I reached home and slept almost straight after showering.

I feel so lethargic now, damn period of the month is here and I just want to laze around, watch tv, do nothing in particular. So much homework to be done. ): I hope I won't regret my stay in jc. I could've joined yingsi and jiangwt at NP for Psychology. I've been considering that course since last year anw. I guess I just have to make the best out of whatever I have.
I really hope you can stay.
I know I like sa and I'm having a great time with all my friends there, but I really miss cedar all the same.

Anyway, stop being so wishy-washy, seriously.

2008-02-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

With our PE teacher who wants to be a dentist!

I think vday in sa was not bad, better that I'd expected it to be. (: Yay I love phreeeaakk clique! <3 So sad it's like the last few, damn few, days of pae. ): I'm going to miss those who are leaving like Yingsi and Rachel!

See y'all tomorrow :D

2008-02-12T21:45:00.000-08:00

You know how sometimes when you're reading a really great book or watching a really great video you stop, just to make it last longer?

No time no time no time. ):

2008-02-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

The growing realisation; Anger, disappointment, and dropped expectations.

Constantly I've been telling myself, "Don't. It's ridiculous.". And I'm quite glad that it's working. I think I seem rational enough. I'm finally able to block out thoughts like this.

Sometimes I wish we are not so superficial. Sometimes I hate changes- the fear, anticipation (or the lack of it). Sometimes I hate the way we neglect things, we only care about what's better in comparison, we discard the old. I wonder why I am always late, even by a bit. Why am I always this close to getting something, always almost but never there?

You can't get everything you want- so deal with it.

They say happiness is a choice.

ANW IT'S FRIENDSHIP WEEEEEEEEK LET'S GO MAKE NEW FRIENDS! :D

2008-02-10T22:50:00.000-08:00

Why are we so afraid of being judged, and yet we judge people all the time?

Let's just be genuinely nice to one another make love not war world peace!

2008-02-08T01:40:00.000-08:00

Happy 17th, Nishanthi my 155 and flag-raising buddy! :D

Happy chinese new year! (: I don't feel it though. Oh I didn't know that my uncle's wife was from sa! And I've been eating and eating for the whole day, damn it. I can't help it! Haha.

I'm quite confused. Was too bored so I went blog hopping and gathered more than I've bargained for. I don't know which side of you is true. If you're trying to play with me, well then.. I'm stupid enough to play along without even realising it.

The same damn thing is happening to me again.

2008-02-06T23:20:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Ma'am Zarifah! :D
Happy Belated Birthday, Gillian Chooooo! :D

CNY performance was quite entertaining. Eve performed with her saxophone! Christina is so crazy over her zebra that she tried to kiss me.
Did I mention? I'm really thankful for the friends I have in sa. (:

Met Vicky just now and I think I really need to go shopping again.

I want to meet up with pltmates soon and play and eat and talkkkk.
I love Nurin! (she wanted me to say this) Anw she reminded me of the korean drama Witch Yoo Hee and I feel like watching it all over again.

Happy cny. I'm getting a little excited! :D

2008-02-03T23:40:00.000-08:00

Yes the video is disgusting. ): [Adlin, I didn't make you watch it, I merely asked you to. Haha.] So do not support the use of fur! You saw how they freaking tortured the animals. ):

ANYWAY, yay I got my ONE STARRRRR! :D
Quite disappointed actually, because I wanted the sun but it rained for both days so we had to kayak in the rain. It was damn fun though! But very colddd. Saw a coconut in the middle of the sea and omg, I thought it was a human head!
Yeah okay so overall it was enjoyable and right now I still feel like I'm at the sea with the waves. I'm tired and I shall go to bed now. There's school tomorrow. Goodnight everyone. Heee. (:

2008-02-01T22:20:00.000-08:00

http://www.furisdead.com/feat/ChineseFurFarms/

DO NOT SUPPORT THE USE OF FUR! Take a look at that video. It's damn sick. Inhumane, disgusting. Those people should be skinned alive and get a taste of what it feels like. Bloody assholes.

Spread the word!

2008-02-01T17:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's gathering/birthday celebration was awesome. (: Finally got to meet up and spend time with most of my pltmates. Going back to Cedar didn't bring back much memories though. Of course, the holding site can't be compared to the one we spent our four years in. Took lots of pictures and cut cake! (: Spoke to auntie lily and the one from mix and match. How I miss.
Went to east coast, settled down and started our old usual chats. I love times like that. (:

I'm tired (yes, again). Damn it, so much homework. I barely had any energy for school. Such a drag. Slept throughout the video during assembly. Learnt a new ball game for PE. Civics was funny. Ms Kotwani couldn't get those flyflyflytowhere questions. HAHA. She told us a lame bar joke.

ONE STAR KAYAKING TOMORROW! :D

Shallow wallow dirty assholes.

2008-01-31T22:35:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY, DEAREST DELTA'07!

:D

2008-01-30T23:25:00.000-08:00

!@#$%^#@$!%!!!!!! OMG. MY. BROTHER. IS. EFFING. IRRITATING. AND. I'M. FREAKIN'. UPSET.

ANYWAY, water training today! Tried T1! Not easy to balance but I didn't capsize! Hahaha yes happy. :D Canoeing is damn fun!
I'm so tired now that I just want to sleep, but I haven't completed my hw.

My heart doesn't have a brain, y'know. WHATEVER I DON'T CARE ALREADY OKAY. You can make assumptions all you want, I'm sick of clearing doubts.
Why can't you just show a little bit of concern? I wish I was smart enough to not make the same mistake twice. I really, really, really, do not want to experience another heartbreak. ): You tell me how? ):
Subconsciously, I let go.

2008-01-29T20:11:00.000-08:00

Look at Christina. Hahahaha.

Yay outing was funnn! :D Yingsi is not staying in sa! ): Hopefully the rest of us will be in the same class again.
Anyway, watched The Mist with Eve and Yingsi! The ending was.. ): It was better than One Missed Call thoughhh. Eve looks nice in sa uniform! (:

I can't believe I'm saying this but seriously I don't give a damn about you anymore. Distance? Oh yes distance. I'm trying but you don't even bother. I give up. I'm tired of getting upset over you.
Time for homeworkkk. ):

2008-01-27T20:25:00.000-08:00

Yay outing with the girls tomorrow! :D

2008-01-26T22:20:00.000-08:00

I MISS.

31st is coming, my dears! <3

2008-01-26T14:40:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness I didn't expect much, if not I would've contributed to the flood.

A1 for geoggg!! HAHA damn happy. :D Didn't expect it because I didn't understand what some of the questions were asking for. Andddd A2 for chem!!!! Hahahah omg usually I either fail it, or just make it. Miracle, MIRACLE. (: Amaths was a tad disappointing though- I expected a one for it. It's okay, a two is better than a three. (:
Am quite contented. (:
I really hope you can stay.

Yay, shopping with Sunm yesterdayyy! Met up with Gillian (and Suria), Yanying and Xinying toooo. :D

I miss. <3

2008-01-24T02:11:00.000-08:00

Would it be alright if we sat and talked for a while

if in exchange for your time I give you this smile?

I can't sleep. I'm tired but I can't get to sleep. Results will be released later. I'm not that worried yetttt, but I know it'll hit me when 1400h is nearing. Seriously I don't know how I fared and how I'm going to react. Ooookay enough, see how la.

ANYWAY! Yay I love school despite of the boring lessons because I have wonderful friends. :D Had class outing the day before yesterday and took so many unglam shots with eve and ying si! HAHAH it was soooo funny. Pictionary was the best! Silver lightning HAHAHA. School's so much fun with them around! So sad that it's coming to an end. ): Ayeeeee.

Water training just now! Dragonboatttt! :D I love water trainings! The last time I went for dragonboating was during unit camp! I like water activities. Kayaking, canoeing, dragon boating, white water rafting! Can't believe I've actually tried so many.

I'M GOING TO MEET NATALIE LATERRRR! :D :D

2008-01-21T22:56:00.000-08:00

This thursday! Why thursday! For once I hope that first intake lasts for three months like before. Ayeeee.

Mistake, big mistake.

2008-01-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

I hate having to do tutorials. ): I am procrastinating.

-
Shucks.
I shouldn't have.

2008-01-19T11:17:00.000-08:00

The speed at which time's going really surprises me sometimes. Three weeks are over and I didn't even realise it. School's been funnnnnnn! I love my new friends! Hahaha. :D Oh I found out something about myself: I like to gossipppppp. (under the influence of Eve HAHAHA.)

At least let me stay in sa please. Yeah I wanted vj, but right now I'd be happy enough if my results permit me to stay.

Yay I'm going to meet Vicky later!

2008-01-16T23:10:00.000-08:00

We had cross country and canoeing todayyyyyyyyy. :D

2008-01-11T22:30:00.000-08:00

:D

Before PE,

we tried to defecate.. (together at the track)

still trying..

And then we felt so relieved! HAHAHA.

The exhaustion after PE:

The randomness:

08A04! (eight people missing)

Today was one of the slacker days. Assembly, PE, Civics (teacher was absent so we were free) and Econs. We had our first break as a class! :D

There is trial/training/whateveritis for canoeing on Monday. Everyone said it's really tough. Almost every single one gave me the omg-are-you-serious-the-trainings-are-damn-tough-and-you-will-be-killed face when I told them that I signed up for canoeing. Even EK said "Take good care of yourself." Haha I find that funny. Okay so I'm quite worried.. but if I don't try, I'll never know. Right? Yeah so hopefully I will survive.

Some couldn't believe that my cca was ncc. "Really? NCC??" Haha. They thought that I was from Sports and Games: NETBALL. Hahaha.

School's been quite fun with all the new friends made. (: Am getting more familiar with the faces as well as the school compound. Friends play an extremely major role, indeed. I like our Geog teachers tooooooo.

Anyway, the weekend is here! There's homework though.

Why the hell did I choose Physics.

2008-01-10T23:30:00.000-08:00

Shit.

2008-01-08T18:35:00.000-08:00

ROMANIS!

Was almost late for school. I think the few of us (namely Alberta, Joanne, Tracy, Dayna, Juvenal and I) actually became a little closer after being separated into different classes. Haha. Ayeeee after feeling comfortable with a few friends, we have to be separated and make new ones again. I missed Cedar like crazy. Don't get me wrong though- SA's perfectly fine.

Went back to Cedar with a few others.

I am tired. And hungry. I don't want any lessons. ): I think I'm still in the holiday mood.

2008-01-05T17:57:00.000-08:00

Siersha.. Sier siersha

Yay I enjoyed SA orientation! (: I was quite scared on the first day, so many unfamiliar faces, strange place which I didn't recognise, what if I don't fit in, etc. I didn't see any cedarians initially and it made me wonder what I was doing in that school. I was looking around and I spotted Arica and Esther and some others so I joined them, and then more and more cedarians came. Felt kind of settled.

The third (which is the last) day was the best. Aaaawesomeeeeeee! (: The Finale, cheers, rock band (?), games, saints connect, etc. Everyone was high and enjoying themselves in the hall with the band, lightsticks and all. Oh the school song is quite catchy. I think everyone was trying to adapt to the school and the people around on the first day so it was rather quiet, compared to the second and third day. The games were really fun and I had a good time laughing. Haha. I like The Flood. My favourite. The station with the flour and polo sweets was damn gross though. Haha.

There was a period of time when I really envied those in other tribes because they cheered really loudly and everyone was so enthusiastic. I think Siersha's quite uhhh, dead, compared to the rest. And that made me not feel like cheering and screaming sometimes. But I think it got better towards the end. Haha. I like the part where it says, "Siersha thinks you asinine/ we disregard your π so fine/ your 3.14159.." (Siersha: Arts fac.) Hahaha so cute right.

OG6 has nice and approachable OGLs. (: Rachel and Perdana. Hahaha. I pitied Rachel because her voice was already quite hoarse on the second day, and on the third it got worse but she had to keep shouting and etc. Furthermore there was a period of time when she looked kind of troubled so I was a little worried. ): After the finale when everything is over I felt quite sad because there will be no more orientation for us, but at the same time, relieved because Rachel could finally rest. I hope to see them around.

I think I am so used to making friends and talking to people I don't really know, that I had a very strong urge to talk to the stranger beside me when I was on the bus.

I saw Narmadha! She went for soccer training I think.

I was so tired when I reached home yesterday. First time in a month that I could actually sleep. the Siersha cheers were stuck in my head for the entire night and I could hear them in my dreams.
I didn't expect to enjoy myself since sa is not really what I want. I didn't even think about where I want to go and I put sa arts as first choice just like that. Thank goodness I've not regretted it, yet.
I hope I get my first choice for the subjects combi. Pleeeease. Lessons start next week. ):

I miss Cedar.

2008-01-01T18:25:00.000-08:00

2008-01-01T01:30:00.000-08:00

Happy new year!

It's tomorrow! New school, new people, new environment, new everything. I'm quite scared. ): Maybe a little excited. A little lost too. At least Tracy's in the same group as me so hopefully it will be fun. (:

I'll miss my friends a lot. ): Pltmates, classmates, everyone.

Oh, SUNM'S BACK! (: (:

2007-12-30T20:15:00.000-08:00

1. Went on a most exhausting but satisfying shopping spree with Vicky on wednesday. Oh, we went into a fitting room together so it's much more convenient, decided to rest for a while since we couldn't move anymore, so we stayed inside, took pictures, talked, and when we opened the door there was a queue! They looked quite pissed and I think we ran away. Stayed over at Vicky's. Didn't feel like a stayover though, haha. She wanted to stay up and watch the whole of witchyoohee (which is impossible) but we ended up sleeping all night because we were so tired. ............................................... I had an awful sorethroat and flu. Stupid. And when I reached home I spread it around and my family got it too. Awesome.

2. I saw something somewhereeeee. I don't know how I should feel. Must be a joke. Won't last long.

3. I must stop shopping.

4. I miss Cedar.

5. It's so difficult now. ): How, you tell me howwwww.

6. I miss my pltmates.

7. The Noose is not funny.

8. I must learn to look forward to school just like how I used to. (Hello sa, see you on wednesday.)